When will he realize im not a little kid anymore?

im 12 turning 13 october 16th and going into the 8th grade. 1st thing is he will barely tolerate anything pg13 and gets suspicious with anything that i watch even if its a cartoon he makes me show him the rating. 2nd i bought a pair of not that short shorts and my dad REFUSES to let me wear them even on my front porch i can wear them inside the house but nowhere else. 3rd i just started watching a couple of new shows on abc family, switched at birth and the nine lives of chloe king and he walks in every 2 minuites asking "are u sure this show is appropriate?" when my mom has allready seen a couple episodes of them and decided to let me watch them. and if he sees ANY reference to in anything he wont let me continue watching it. and one came on in switched at birth but he wasnt in there. 3rd i have a bed time during the summer and it is rediculus only 10:30 and when school starts 9:30 so only an hour more during the summer when im old enough to not have one. i would go to bed at around 11:00-11:30 anyway and i think my bed time during school should be around 10:30 and my 10 yr old brother gets to go to bed at 10:00 but gets to stay up late anyway as long as my parents dont see him and when they do they just give him a look and walk away. and my 7 almost 8 yr old little sister is even worse she pretty much gets to stay up till i go to bed cuz she is such a cry baby she will scream and cry or say her stomach hurts or some other stupid excuse to stay up. usually her excuse is i have to tell mom somthing and she will do that and it will be somthing stupid like "did u know that the erfly patterns are the same on each wing or some other common scence fact than she will walk back in and sit down like nothing happened. 4th he knows i am into boys so he will literally do somthing stupid infront of my friends to embarase me. and i cant date till 17 but my mom has secretly said i can date at 13 if i have either his or my mom with me carefully watching everything. its stupid. 5th i just moved states a year ago and immediatly got put in homeschool cuz the school wasnt good. im going to a regular school nxt year but this past year has been horrible. i had to sit on the computer doing work that i did last year without any help from him so i didnt socialize or make friends here for the past year. and my dad wont let me go rollarskating or bowling or anything that every1 else my age does alone because he thinks i will meet a boy and he is not kidding when he says he will shoot any boy he doesnt like that puts his hands anywhere they shouldnt be. 6th and this is the worst one he doesnt trust me or anything i do. i cant lock my door i cant bring the lap top in my room at night (i had to sneak it tonight) i cant watch anything he hasnt heard of or that SOUNDS inappropriate (i watched a funny reality show today that my dad hadnt seen called love in the wild and he trashed it because of its name) i cant have caffine after 8:00 i cant drink ANY energy drink i cant leave my front yard without a parent i cant sleepover on school nights i cant go to a school party at all and i cant go to a birthday party without a written invitation from their parents. I KNOW THIS WAS LONG BUT I WOULD REALLY APRICIATE AN ANSWER how can i tell him im not little girl without getting into an argument. he is big and scary and violent hes not violent enough to report he will just get really close and yell at me and if i dont listen he will shove me into my room so i dont want to make him mad. also i want to know how to tell him i have a bf cuz i do and he will kill me if he finds out. LONG ANSWERS PLEASE :D